Friday, September 18, 2015

Beloved

A bruised reed shall he not break, and the smoking flax shall he not quench. (Isaiah 42:3)

9 November
music
storm
light
window
car
Lebanon
love
time
body

Drawing is mine

I have been standing where everyone has stood, on the top of the Cedars Mountain in Lebanon and thinking, as everyone has thought (though not, perhaps, said), that it was created in defiance of all imaginations. Such beauty, such wonder, such power, such greatness! It belittles not, it lifts up.
I have been standing there and my mind was drinking the wine of quietness and swimming in the ocean of possibilities. Evening was coming on and in the light of it all the colours so simple and yet so subtle seemed to fit together and make it perfect to tell a story. My story.
It was in November. The ninth maybe, or maybe a day or two earlier… date are so unimportant that we give them so much space in our lives; do you think about breathing?The air was so crisp, you could almost catch it in your whole body, as if in anticipation.I was sitting on the wooden bench in the old cathedral, surrounded by the smell of the burning incense and the glow of the candles. I have been waiting, and the waiting time my brothers is the hardest time of all! But out of hardship, as you have often heard, grows the most splendid of things: the purest, the simplest, the best.One can enjoy obscurity as easily as light. It is in the warmth of the womb that a baby is formed and in the depth of earth that a seed is buried.
I was waiting for her but she never came. Chanting filled the place but there was no music in me. My life was shattered before me. I was crushed. I could barely breath and all the bravery in me vanished when the last effort of holding my tears in, failed. 

A measure of love is how often you are willing to lose because of it. I lost everything. I wanted to die but if God omnipotently says, "Thou shalt live," man shall not say, "I will not." The living always has hope and I was not dead yet. My heart was filled with a new hope in the midst of darkness. Hope transfigures even fear. I heard the poet repeating to me his old line, “Gather ye rosebuds while ye may” and so I gathered my strength as one soldier would for the last battle and left the haunting past behind me! I walked towards my car, slowly, gravely, but with steadfastness and for the first time in my life I realized that to love is not to grasp. I set her free. I set the idea of her free, and that was harder. 

As I was walking, with nothing behind me and nothing before me, it started to rain. At other times I would have been annoyed but today I thought it was a blessing. It washed me and I was glad. I was the bird that evaded every net: the wild deer that leaped every pitfall. As the storm was getting stronger, lightening filled the sky in almost an organized orchestra! And to my eyes it seemed as if some sudden vision had been given me! Sing to the Sun, and it will rise! Dance to the wind, aim high, the Highest and you will find your way. Even as the voice spoke the earth rocked beneath my feet! I was stirred and I turned in circles. One idea was pressing on. To start singing… to start dancing… just there in the middle of nowhere… I thought, dear me, I will look like a fool! I will seem like an idiot… but what if I was already a fool, what if the idiots are the smartest. I had to try. I had to do it. When one thought is that strong, it is hard to keep it in. I sang and danced till there was no force left in me and I decided to abandon my car and sleep in the field.

When I woke up, I found myself under a cedar tree and through its young branches sunlight glimmered, green and gold. All the air was full of a sweet mingled scent! I laughed, and the sound was like music, or like water in a dry land; I have not laughed like this in a long time. 

By now, I was ready for my morning coffee. I thought I will take it in one of the small village cafes! It was a perfect day! It is always a perfect day before that imperfect thing happens, obviously. I was looking for my keys but I could not find them! I searched all my pockets, my backpack, everywhere around me, in vain! I knew they were with me last night, I came using my car! Maybe I forgot them in it, I believed. So I walked in the direction where I parked it, wishing that today the rain will spare me, and it seemed like it will. I was not planning on another session of madness! One is enough to set one’s life on the right tracks: Jonah slept in the whale’s stomach and I in the earth’s; his mission was Nineveh, mine was my life. I was ready! 

As I was heading towards my car, I notice the windows down! Oh noes! I shouted! It must be filled with all the waters from last night’s showers! I panicked. I rushed to inspect the damages but to my great surprise, I see someone occupying the back seats! 

I should have warned you that my story was a classic, I should have liked to sound as if it was a novelty but it is not, yet, certainly, for those who love life, nothing is a repetition. Everything is new under the sun for him that is not vain! 

Nevertheless, I will spare you the details and skip to the end… She carries sunshine wherever she goes and I diffuse happiness around me. We met on the ninth of November (she remembers dates). I loved her right away. She took time – to wake up first- but time my brothers is the sweetest challenge of all.


 ♪♫♪
Ode To Joy

Oh friends, not these sounds!
Let us instead strike up more pleasing
and more joyful ones!
Joy!
Joy!
Joy, beautiful spark of divinity,
Daughter from Elysium,
We enter, burning with fervour,
heavenly being, your sanctuary!
Your magic brings together
what fashion has sternly divided.
All men shall become brothers,
wherever your gentle wings hover.

Whoever has been lucky enough
to become a friend to a friend,
Whoever has found a beloved wife,
let him join our songs of praise!
Yes, and anyone who can call one soul
his own on this earth!
Any who cannot, let them slink away
from this gathering in tears!

Every creature drinks in joy
at nature's breast;
Good and Bad alike
follow her trail of roses.
She gives us kisses and wine,
a true friend, even in death;
Even the worm was given desire,
and the cherub stands before God.

Gladly, just as His suns hurtle
through the glorious universe,
So you, brothers, should run your course,
joyfully, like a conquering hero.

Be embraced, you millions!
This kiss is for the whole world!
Brothers, above the canopy of stars
must dwell a loving father.
Do you bow down before Him, you millions?
Do you sense your Creator, o world?
Seek Him above the canopy of stars!

He must dwell beyond the stars.

"An die Freude"- Friedrich Schille

Thursday, May 7, 2015

Sweet May, Swift May

May is full of sweet blossoms! In the strict sense, for my gardenias are just filling the house with a wonderful fragrance (I am putting some in my hair too!) , and the not in the too strict sense, for a lot of nice things happen in May (one of them was meeting a very adorable lady last week!).
May has such a sweet taste as well! Everything seems just more delicious (or maybe it is just my ever growing appetite! I am craving for anything sugary at this point! Writing about sweets in the afternoon before tea is a mistake I have discovered!). 
I believe ice cream season is eternal. In the summer it makes you chill, in the winter you are longing for summer, in the autumn you are just prolonging summer and in spring anticipating it!
And so, last Friday, the very first day of May, all sweet things got combined! I had an incredibly delicious ice cream with wonderful friends and that adorable lady! It could not be better at that moment!
We went to this artisan sweet shop and I decided to go for two scoops, one pistachio and one Ashta! The man's servings were fitted for a true man's hand, that is strength, fullness and precision! The portions were huge and perfectly fitted! Now, if I tried to describe the ice cream itself,I might scare you a bit so I will just say that it was just too good to be true! 
Shame on me though, I did not finish it but to my defence I had two lunches and one dinner that day, and I never skip breakfast!! This could not get off my head for a few days, me not finishing an ice cream! I did not finish that heavenly ice cream!! I had all these day dreams of going again and taking another one or just me finishing it and so on...
As I was transported by the lovely memory of friends and ice cream,an idea came to my mind: the melting of the ice cream... It is not really desired, especially if it is on a cone! And then this idea lead me to think about life in general... and how sometimes I am offered this wonderful ice cream but I am too distracted by its colour or shape, or  I am too slow to grab it and it just melts and goes to waste... I thought about opportunities I miss because I am afraid or meetings I do not go to because I am too self-concious, or even food I do not try because I do not want to waken up my slumbering taste-buds... and as I was thinking all this, I thought about the verse of Shakespeare again, hope being swift as a swallow... swiftness is something I put aside sometimes given my slow nature but this ice cream came to shake me up a bit .... I had this sentence come back to my mind "find out the will of God for your day and generation, and then, as quickly as possible, get into line" (I read it while reading about beer! I bet it is gluttony that is paving my highway to somewhere too hot to be even desired by me!) 
And I decided, I will not let that life ice cream melt! I shall be swift to follow God wherever He calls me to go! I shall be swift to hope in Him! I shall be swift to resist temptation and swift to ask for His help when I am just too weak to be a swallow!

Friday, April 24, 2015

Everlasting Splendours

Warning: One of the "pouring out my heart" posts. I firmly believe I am a cow or some sort of ruminating animal!! Repetition is my speciality! 

I have been overwhelmed lately (when am I not?). I have known beauty. My breath have been taken away on many many occasions (I think it is happening a lot, to a point that I might die from asphyxia soon!). I have learned to expect wonderful things to happen. It might be childish hope but how can it be not so and we are only getting closer to heaven and not further! Sailing home to Him and it won't be long... By the light of the Sun I will press on... Carried by true hope and as Shakespeare would put it, "True hope is swift, and flies with swallow’s wings".  It is a beautiful thing the passing of time and it carries beautiful surprises!

Oh my heart still burns from the Love that I have found in people! 
At a dinner (even a totally random eclectic one!), at a brunch, over a cup of lemonade or iced coffee, sharing a book, sharing my brightest ideas (probably the silliest, scariest ideas ever put in words!), walking together, or just sitting looking at the world....

I have found whom my soul loves and I have invited you into my heart, into my life, into my mind (sorry for that! poor you!!)... 
I have found you in old friendships; for you I am forever grateful! You have been my clutch, my anchor, my joy, my pride and your generosity have put mine to shame! You are in every memory of beauty I have known!
I have found you in new friendships; for you I bow my knees before God every night and pray for you and ask Him, what have I done to deserve to get to know people as holy as you! Living saints from whom I learned in such a small time, what my stiff neck have been refusing to learn for a long time. I know it in the deepest place of my heart that you are to stay in my life, in an way or another. You are too precious to lose!

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Philippians 4:8

And who is more true, more honourable, more just, more pure, more lovely, more commendable, more excellent, more worthy of praise than Christ Jesus ! To think of Him at every moment!
And who is more true, more honourable, more just, more pure, more lovely, more commendable, more excellent, more worthy of praise than you my dear friends, created at His image, loved (oh so very loved), cherished, saved... by God himself!! A beautiful mystery! You are Everlasting Splendours as would C.S. Lewis put it!

♥ I think of you all the time. I am a happy person ♥

Friday, April 17, 2015

Pinky

On Wednesday I use a new nail polish, GOLD. Now every time I look at my fingers I smile! Gold is really a very pretty colour, it makes me very happy! I started thinking about fingers and trying to pick my favourite one (I think it is the fourth finger from the right hand) and I was thinking about how beautiful the hand is and how God is really a wonderful creator... And from one thought to the other, I realized that fingers are really amazing! They are so sophisticated! They mark our ability! Our talent as a race to manipulate things finely... And it is beautiful! All the wonderful calligraphy art, the handmade creations, the detailed sewing, it is truly breathtaking! But I could not help myself from thinking that truly some of these fingers have a better value, or worse (the middle finger! oops!) and the pinky made it to the category of useless finger pretty easily: "ciao guys, I'm off to do nothing, see you later!" I know the pinky is of such a use for a flute player, but how many of us are? okay maybe more than I imagined but how many use it to play the harp? really not many! The use of this finger is not widespread! That little addition for the might-need-me situations! and this made me really peaceful! I thought about my existence and how really I am not an index at all, all useful and crucial, and I hope I am not a middle finger!... I am most probably a pinky! God cared to make me because he makes things nice and beautiful and as of my use, I am sure He is playing some harp somewhere with me as much as that is rare, it is still something!! And I hope I learn to be an easy to manipulate finger, moving at the will of Lord! 


Ps. Drinking tea like an elegant lady (not) with my pinky up in the air! *ting ting ting* (the sound of my waving finger)
Pps. This post has the right to be in pink... after all!

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

My Heart: A Hatching Egg!

In an attempt to erased all hope of someone mistakenly believing in my sanity, I will pour a little of my heart out, again! (But to my defence, the image of eggs is not far from spring and Easter!)
I never knew joy felt this amazingly similar to pain! It burns!
I feel as if my heart was an egg and for forty days and then suddenly a singling little chick came out. It was sitting under the warmth of books and under efforts of abstinence (I miserably failed at that!!) and this week, it hatched, it burst! I did feel the time. I was waiting for that first air of Resurrection to be breathed and heard and now I can't stop dancing, singing, smelling! I was waiting for the wine to be served and now I am drunk under the shining sun! Nature is more beautiful now. Everything seems to have gained honour and value! Everything is purer!! I am discovering  again the ever ancient discovery of the loveliness of friends! The splendour of human beings that come from the Splendour of His image! The splendour of Him who won the battle. The splendour of the Victorious king! 
The Risen Christ!
I have my tears mixed with my laughs! It is unfathomable and yet so real! It is indescribable yet so clear! It everlasting. It is why I live and why I will die for. 
I want to continue but I feel words are ruining it so I will leave it as it is, but know that it cannot fill the universe if it was to be written down as a whole!
Happy Easter!

Ps. What adds to the delight of today that it's my beloved papa's birthday!

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

April's Fool

It is the first of April today! 
I have been particularly interested in dates this year because I got a new notebook that has dates on it and I feel so very powerful that I can actually know what day we are! 
It is called as well April's Fool Day! And one cannot miss a day they celebrate him at it! One cannot miss a day they celebrate anything! Especially if we can throw confetti... (I think a prank with confetti would be really amazing!!)
Since I feel it is my feast day today! I have been more foolish than not today and basically every day... Therefore I want to celebrate by throwing some confetti here with a list of questions! 
Voilà

1- Will you be my bridesmaid? (for the guys: will you marry me?) 
2- What would you name yourself if you had a chance to pick you own name?
3- Do you like inhaling or exhaling more?
4- Do you think the apples seeds we throw, grow somewhere?
5- Why are all my friends so lovely? 
6- Have all the particles of Oxygen in the universe been breathed at least once before?
7- Do you like the  letter i?
8- Are you happy?
9- Do you like your eyelashes? 
10- What makes you giggle?
11- Guess what?

If you are a fellow fool and  you want to answer them, I would be delighted to read your answers. Thank you!

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

A Graceful Appearance

Spring is here!! I have a really hard time choosing my favourite season! I find it quite a genius idea to make them turn! God never gets enough compliments on that me thinks... "Perfectly well time and planned God, I appreciate that!"... I believe it is called praise for God and not compliments but I fancy the idea of giving compliments. I love compliments (and accept them joyfully too)! 
Birds and flowers, blooming trees and orange blossoms... The sun... It is just lovely! 
Today I decided to leave some toast for the birds on my work window.. I often leave crumbles around for my little friends, and they always delight me and accept my small gift but it is the first time that I leave them in that place. I was afraid to put it there because my colleague might get mad at me like she was mad when I left cat food for the cats around and will make me spray them with water every time they appear... But I thought it was worth it... so I did! I waited almost all day, but no visitation. I was sad... and I started to think that they were sad at me because I did not have the courage earlier, which is sort of right but a little unfair. But then I thought that birds are not unfair and they surly understand my position! It must be something else... and a million reason came to my mind that did not convince me until, obviously, the obvious (obvious has b and then v, a pretty combination I think...) one emerged! They still do not know that there is food here but soon they will discover and it will be beautiful! As I realized this, another realization instantly came to my mind! I always think about grace. I know that it was there for me all the time, I know it is there all the time for everyone but I did not know how that works! And the bird feeder whispered, I have been here all day, ready to give all I have for the birdies, they just needed to come and grab all what their mouths could fit... The discovery might take time, but it will come... even if I might aid the birds with a leading little path tomorrow... 
The source of every grace was ever there for me to eat my full, and this feeder, o my soul, this feeder does not empty! And this feeder will feed you till you burst out and become a little feeder yourself... And if you lost the way, if you ever go somewhere and find no feeder, know that it is there and that He will put a little path to lead you there, be open! 

Thursday, March 5, 2015

Little Things

This is a very little note to myself.
I had a submerging feeling of littleness come over me this afternoon... I compared myself. To saints, to martyrs, to even people around me that are so literally amazing and I felt so so tiny and incapable.

This morning I got a very lovely card left on my desk with a wonderful, uplifting message in it (surely a praise I do not deserve and that is not me being humble!) and a small token in it.
I was so happy and I wanted to share the message with my sisters and close friends but since the day was so full I was not able to do it until the afternoon.
One of them had a nice picture (little things ♥) and it struck me really hard! The note was so small but made such an impact on me and came really so timely! But it was just a little note! 
I might be really little but I hope I am a little beautiful note left for others nonetheless!! And so the feeling went and I was left with a little bit of courage and determination to be that lovely little thing for people who meet me ^.^

Friday, February 27, 2015

I Finally Met Her!


Sunday something, actually a couple of  extraordinary events happened! I do have a tendency to draw to me extraordinary things! Obviously, opposites attract!
The first out of the ordinary thing is that I accepted willing to go to a hike in the snow! I was quite excited actually! It is not the hike that I dreaded! I really love to walk and pretty much walk everywhere if I have the chance to! But the snow and me, though opposite (The exception that did not prove the rule I guess!) do not, to say the least, attract! I had a horrible snow related incident growing up and since, I have a fear of it! But I took one big leap of courage... no, not truthfully! I did not know there will be this much snow... Force majeur, I could not go back so I had to go forward! (Can't I have credit for that? Bravo me!) But it was worth it! This immersion therapy worked well! I did cheat a bit, walking on the steps of someone before me, ashamedly maybe ten years younger than myself! The whole thing was very enjoyable! The people were so so wonderful!!
The second very amazing thing that happened is what I really wanted to share!
When I was a little kid at school, there was a nice building facing us with balconies full of nice flowers and plants. On one of them, there was a lady who used to sunbathe everyday when we had our long break! I thought she was a princess or a fairy with her long silky beautiful hair and fair lovely skin. I saw her daily in the morning with her beautiful loose braid walking out of the Church with a smiling peaceful face... she really made such an impression on little me. I used to look up and say in my little naive brain then when I grow up I will be like her! I will be this beautiful! Now the odds, called odd for a reason, did not work that way and I did not turn out to be a fairy like princess! 
I often thought about this lady later on in life, what would our conversation be, what would the encounter be like, what will I say, how she will react, bref... I never saw her again since I left school and that in truly ten years ago! I developed a love for the sun that reminded me of her habit and because I am fascinated by lovely hair and braids (vendredi vanité!) 
Until! This Sunday! On a hike, on the snow! Really life is so beautifully odd!! I could not believe it! Is she really going with me to the same walk? It was one moment of wawness (waw with an a is a higher level of a wow with an o! try to say it and see!). I hesitently approached her and told her: are you really this lady that lives here and sunbathed and does this lovely braid... and she said yes so I told her, I thought you were a princess and I always wanted to meet you! You are the most elegant lady I knew and your face shines the love and peace of God when you walk that I really wanted to be your friend! Her reaction was not what I expected! or maybe I did! She hugged me and told me I am an angel! She had little tiny tears in her eyes and told me that she never heard such sincere compliments... 
There are two things that I kept from this wonderful meeting! To keep on never keeping a compliment in my stomach! Really this does miracles! God always looks down upon us with compliments! 
And the second thing is, really there is nothing too high or too far or too impossible! I never imagined in my life to meet this lady but it happened! What seems so far away in a second can become so close and what is too high in a word from the mouth of God becomes low and what is impossible for men is really possible for Him! 

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Moth Free Soul

Last Monday, while I was picking up some friends, nature decided to entertain me!
I do not mind moths in general. They remind me that I should always seek the light and that is really beautiful. I mind them in particular, when I am sitting in my car, it is raining outside and it decides to spend some time flying around me.
When it stopped pouring and only a few gentle drops coming down, I decided to get out of the car and open the doors to free that little creature. I waited for about five minutes (yeah my friends did take long to come down, about a quarter of an hour!) and then I closed again and there was no sign of the moth in the car even after scrupulous (that is a cool word) search! I thought I was the champion (I have the song We are the Champions my Friends and we'll keep on fighting till the end ♪♪ coming to mind and I hope you as well are brain singing it now). The moth is out and I am free and happy again in a moth-free safe car!
I bet you guessed, and you got it right! A few days later, almost a week later actually, on Monday this week, the moth showed up again!! I was really really surprised! I mean where was it! I totally thought it was kicked out! But this time I made sure I saw it getting out of the window! 
Such a timely anecdote! Nature is so cool! seriously!
During this season of the year, I think something like the moth experience happens. Sometimes I think I have chased this little sin out of my life a long time ago just to realize that actually it has been lurking all that time in the shadow and maybe laying some eggs here and there! When time of fasting and prayer comes, this moth comes back to surface, maybe fiercer than ever but I know that it is a season of grace too, a time of open windows, a time when God blows His Spirit again and renews! 
I think it is time for me to re-examine my car, my soul, for any lurking moth and bring them before the Lord to lead them out definitively! 

Saturday, February 14, 2015

Highlight Love!

Happy Saint Valentine's Day everyone!
It is one beautiful occasion to celebrate love! I know a lot of people who  think this is one commercial feast anyway and one should not celebrate it but I think that Valentine is really proud to know that the day of his beheading is now a day to celebrate love. I mean if I was Valentine myself, which for many reasons is not possible, I would much rather prefer to be an inspiration of love instead to be remembered headless. And really I love and respect and wish and want to be a martyr but at the end of the day, at that final day, we will find God and God is love and not martyrdom (though I think that it should be more earnestly thought after than it is now but that is another topic!).
I did not think much about the 1 Corinthians 13 chapter this year at all for Valentine's but it somehow manages to make surface anyway. (I was more into Medieval love poems and some Chesterton ones, if you care, which I doubt, about what I was focusing on this season!). But as I was saying, that famous passage came to my mind strongly before I went to sleep on this lovingly spent day.
Love covers a multitude of sins.
I remembered my amazing friend once time suggested that I should write about highlight markers, and I really wanted to but I had no idea what these pens would teach me especially knowing that I do seldom use them!
Love covers a multitude of sin!
I was taking a shower and thinking about these highlight makers and Valentines (and my very lovely red velvet cake! Yey! I made one for the first time and it was delicious!! and I am very happy!)
I have been accused of being biased when I talk about my friends but really when you love someone it is not hard to see any wrong in them but it is amazingly easily to love them regardless of that! What I find wonderful is that when you love someone, you do really cover a multitude of weakness they have and boy! how much I get cover up for!! 
When you love someone you start naturally to highlight, to mark out the wonderful attributes they have! And it is really so lovely and beautiful! It is like having this person as a paper full of all sort of information and you start colouring all the wonderful things about their being! All their importance, all their amzingness!!
But my heart lead me to even take a further step towards loving others. To do that little exercise and start highlighting all the lovely and wonderful things I see in every single person and not just the ones that my heart beat for! To earnestly search for it!! To cover their sins, to get past it and to put in the light their most exquisite side! To see them in the eye of the Lord, who knows our limits and our failures but yet sees us in that wonderful loving perspective, highlighting His image in us and putting it to value instead of our own deformed image!

I decided to walk with mental highlight markers from now on! 

Friday, February 13, 2015

Friday Thirteen


You know there is this superstition that says Friday thirteen brings bad luck. I find superstitions fascinating. It is really amazing how they are born out of the ordinary. Correlations that are totally true but deeply erroneous, facts that happened, related to conclusions that are so absurd! But I will not judge because I am no better...
They remind me of my brilliant conclusions on my person or on the world based on something totally true but deeply erroneous (is that an oxymoron anyone?).
I really love odd numbers. If they were persons they would be the ones who would always wear colours and specially a green skirt for the ladies and yellow beret for the gents. 
I really really love lists. There is a charm in reading and doing lists. They are far better than just a summary and clearer! 
I want to profit from this little occasion,  to write down an oddly numbered list for thirteen brilliant unlucky facts about me, that are... totally true ... but deeply... insignificant!
I hope that by this I am made aware of the truth, of the sovereignty of God and of His Love.

1- I will never tan!
3- I will never write a book like Dostoevsky's!
5- I will never love ocra... (but I am willing to try yet again)
7- I will never hear Chesterton in a conference (not in our current existence statuses)!
11- I will never walk on the clouds!
13- I will never be born on a Friday thirteen!
15- I will never make a dress for Queen Elizabeth II (Unless something HUGE happens...)
17- I will never communicate with a bug!
19- I will never be related to Saint Francis in non-spiritual bonds (I mean unless I find an Italian gentleman who's willing to marry me and happens to have Saint Francis as his late-late-late uncle...)
21- I will never be able to eat all the macrons in the world... even if I really want to!
23- I will never be a tree that loses it leaves in winter... I will never be a tree at all.
25- I will never speak all the African dielects!
And saddest of all...
27-I will never be an elven queen!

Friday, February 6, 2015

Valentine's Day

Warning: redundant topic!
I Can't Help Falling In Love With You... ♪♪♫
Some things are meant to be... ♪♫♪ 
Take my whole life too! ♫♫

I am really happy Valentine's day is coming. I think the Church should do like she does for Christmas and Easter, Advent and Lent... A period to prepare for this lovely celebration! Not that I have any sweetheart, be not fooled! but...
God is Love!
Love the Lord from all you heart! Please my heart do that! Do not let this world take your first love away but give him yourself and your whole life too! Worship Him! Give Him thanks! Sing to Lord! Sing till your words are not yours anymore! Walk with Him, talk to Him... Just LOVE the LORD!
And love your neighbour like yourself! Give generously! Pray! pray for every specific need you know they have! and dare you stand idle! Help, work, change, make them smile, make them happy... 
Embarrass yourself and cross all border in love! 

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Become my Reflection

I have a very beautiful friend who has this amazing mind and taste! She is so stylish that I am afraid she eclipses everyone when she passes by! And I must admit I am jealous of her music abilities! (Repent O my soul!)  
She is the kind of friend any one wishes to have. She is thought provoking, genuine, honest, smart,... and today she got me thinking about becomings... She asked: "How do we forgive ourselves for all of the things we did not become?"
I, by no means, am trying to answer this question or offer anything of deep meaning but this question carries a certain type of emotion that moves a poor soul like mine... Words do affect me...
I wanted to tell her that she has nothing to forgive herself for but it seemed a bit vague said like that... I dare not say I know her for there is only One who absolutely knows us but I do know enough to know (are you counting the knows?) that she has become one blooming flower form a very lovingly planted seed! 
I started thinking what  have I or her not become.... Beside wanting to have white hair, I am the most unambitious lady you will ever meet. The things I have not become... Dear me, I must have been living very dumbly all these years, I only wanted to live (truly) and I feel I have achieved the goal so far... but then...
I do not know how to exactly put my thoughts so bear with me...
But then a flow of thoughts filled my mind... Before I created you in the womb I knew you... There is nothing you can become but my Image. You were created to be in communion with me, to be loved by me and to love me and there is really nothing else you must become. Have no remorse and weep not for the past...  with me there is no time, no past, no future... I am here transforming you to become the only becoming you should become. You are  in my hands and I am forming you, you have only to trust me, to put your faith in me, to shift your mind from the focus of this world and his standards and look and me, gaze at my face and become my reflection and nothing else! 
And my soul did rest... and I hope yours too will rest in the knowledge that He knows you and you are becoming who He is in you... because really there is no ambition better or worth more than this one, to be His Reflection! 


 But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.  For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God,  not a result of works, so that no one may boast.  For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works,which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
Ephesians 2:4-10

Monday, February 2, 2015

An Eating Invitation

There is something very genuine about people who love to invite you to eat. 

I saw this lady only once. 
I said hello because she was (and I take a blind guess that she still is) the mother of my friend (what a polite gesture me!) then we exchanged a small conversation about some beautiful (beautiful!!!) coincidence that happened earlier that day. And that was it.
Some people have this ability to mark my poor memory with a mark that never vanishes. 
I remember her hair and when I cut mine last year I thought about her but I did not have the chance to show it to her (if you recognise that this is your mum, you can feel guilty)... 
I remember the way she occupied the space. It was full of grace! Something in her air was just so enviable. A certain calmness, peacefulness,... 
And since opposite attract (not full of grace and all), I attracted her attention! That moment the whole world production of red pigment was condensed in my face. I shrank and tried to hide (ambitious move for someone with long extremities) but she spot me. 
You must be hungry.
No mam, I am fine.
No no please please! Please take a sandwich!
Please, thank you, gracias (insert all politeness words here.) 
Give her to eat, poor little thing...
Thank you very much! (note, polite again) (Bravo mum and dad for raising such a courteous  human being) and I took the sandwich they offered me.
The lady had a million thing on her mind beside feeding me but somehow her world stopped for a moment and all her attention was sweetly directed to me... I felt honoured! 
This is not a one of a kind story. I am sure it happens daily, many many times, but not everyone does it in the same way. Some people do not invite you to eat really just. And you cannot but know it!! They sort of shower you with their love, and the eating invitation is just an extension of their hearts to yours. They do it with a generosity of spirit and a generosity simply that can lead you to almost exploding if you accept it all (and dare you say no!) but I have nutrition tip you, if I may: I believe if you eat what they offer you will not grow one gram fatter! Only because they lit that fire within you that will burn it all!
I have this on my mind today and wanted to share it... An invitation to invite people to eat... To give generously, simply. 
I shall try to apply that as much as possible! Anyone for tea?

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Hair Grand Ecart


Here comes the sun, here comes the sun ♪♪... or not really! The sun has been very shy this month and since I am directly affected by her beautiful rays, I have been hibernating. But here I come again (I do deserve a Beatles level kind of song... Hearers, me proposes!)


If you think the year twenty fifteen turned me wiser, or gave me any of the supposedly miraculous effect of changing a number at the end of a Gregorian reference (and since we're at it, I propose as well that you write me a Gregorian level song...), you are wrong, my wisdom teeth are already all out, so tough luck seeing some gown up there...




I always fake being a very professional ballet dancer. I never took any ballet lessons. But what comes around go around I guess (I am sure I am not using it in the right way) and my non-existing ballet Grand Ecat made its appearance in my hair!
I discovered a nice and quick way to fix my hair and I feel very accomplished. Not that my hair was difficult at all but I wanted something more alive than a pony tail and one day trying to do a normal tail I realize that I can keep the side split and tie it from the back! I find hair splits neat and beautiful therefore I adopted this hair style instantly!
So everyday in the mirror I see the side split and contemplate it and think about it...
O My vanity
It Shall One day
Kill  Me...
But honestly and seriously, I think when something comes so much to my mind, it wants to teach me a lesson or remind me about a truth! and so the hair split kept insisting that I understand what it wanted to say until that moment of claity! 
The Red Sea! 
Ummm what? 
The red sea split... 
Oh noes! Where did you get that from?? 
From Exodus!
Yeah I know and I see where you are going...

I know it is a silly connection and I really do not know how my brain does it but there it is! 
I think hair splits wanted to remind me of the Red Sea majestic opening by the mighty hand of the Lord of hosts! When God comes to help his poor desperate people. When God comes to open ways when all seems blocked. When God created something new out of all the old mess we gathered and arrived to...
Therefore I will carry my split like a token of His powerful intervention, of His wonderful openings, of His eternal faithfulness!

Now bald friends, do not be distressed! You are an even greater sign and stronger reminder! "And a highway shall be there, and it shall be called the Way of Holiness" say Isaiah!